Oh how my heart aches. I can barely write this post, but I really need to put up these pictures of her and tell her story.
Just over seven years ago in August, outside the back of my office I saw a pair of golden eyes staring at me from under a bush. Although the kitty was scared of me it seemed she wanted me, or something from me. She had a tiny little high-pitched meow and shiny black fur. She looked small, like an old kitten nearly adult. As the weeks went by I fed and watered her daily, but she wouldn't let me touch her. She was there in the morning when I arrived and seemed to know when I was ready to go home because she'd be waiting for me again. Big golden eyes under the bushes with the little meow.
On a cold, sleeting Saturday the weekend after Thanksgiving I went to feed her as I always did and decided that it was too cruel to leave her outside in the elements. Saeed agreed. I drove home to get a cat carrier, brought it under the bushes with me and led a trail of food from her usual eating spot into the carrier. She slowly ate her trail of food that led her into the carrier and I was able to close the door and bring her home. She was so afraid that day, but it has a happy ending. With time, she adjusted to living inside with (at that time) Rainbow and Obi and became lovey and chubby like most housecats do. In fact she used to follow Rainbow around and do whatever she did, much to Rainbow's dismay! For the longest time she would only come to me (maybe about two years) but eventually she let Saeed and the girls pet her and actually sought them out as time went on.
Teddie was clearly a survivor. As we added other cats she easily adjusted and got along with them just fine. Even when we had to divide the house (when Frosty and Calvin were hurting Banu) she was willing to hang out on either side of the closed doors, usually wherever I was. Once about a year ago Frosty charged at her, didn't hurt her, but scared her, and she pretty much decided to hang out on Banu's side all the time. (She should've shown him these teeth!)
About six months ago we noticed that Teddie was losing weight. She had always been so muscular and fit and had even gotten a tiny bit overweight, so this was not good. But being the fiesty semi-feral cat that she was we decided not to take her to the vet for tests because it was so traumatic for her. Any tests they did might have resulted in possible treatments that I would never have been able to give her (once traumatized from a trip to the vet she would never let me near her for a couple of months.) About a month and a half ago she was noticably thin, boney really, and I knew she probably had cancer or something. Still, she was acting happy and showed no signs of distress or pain, so we waited some more. But the last few days she wasn't eating much and this morning she wouldn't eat at all. It was time. The vet said her Xray showed huge kidneys (I saw it; they were HUGE), almost surely kidney cancer and even if not cancer, untreatable disease. It was time to let her go.
Here she is with Lupe sleeping on our bed.
This picture always makes me laugh. Teddie wasn't the most cooperative in front of the camera and this shot shows exactly what she thought of me and that darn camera!
In better days, watching a squirrel in the tree outside our bedroom window.
You may remember these next two pictures from a post I did about the toy lizard. I had actually bought the lizard for a coworker (long story) but Teddie and Lupe definitely liked it better than my coworker did!
Often Teddie would hang out under our bed. Layli is a bed hog and Teddie seemed to feel more comfortable here when Layli was around.
I have also done a post about how nice it is to come home and find kitties waiting for me at the top of the stairs. Teddy was a frequent flyer on the stairs.
It was rare for her to let me take her picture while she was eating...
... but she tolerated me this once.
Here she is camped out on the downstairs side of the divide. She's right by the door so that when I would go through to the upstairs side she'd go with me. She was definitely my buddy.
Looking up at me with those beautiful eyes.
That facial expression is saying, "Put the camera away and come pet me!"
Here she is fast asleep at the foot of the bed. Saeed and I would always say how happy it made us to see her truly relaxed, truly asleep like this, because it meant she was happy and relaxed instead of nervous like the semi-feral she was.
These last couple of weeks really have been bittersweet. Even though I knew she was going downhill I felt happy that she was obsessed with being with me. I spent a lot of extra time with her to pet her, lie down next to her so we could cuddle together, sit on the floor in the kitchen watching the TV from afar so that she could lean up next to me (she wouldn't go in the room with the TV because that's where Frosty charged at her that time), and kiss her head about a million times and tell her that I loved her. I think she knew. When she was falling asleep for the last time I was doing the same thing... petting her, kissing her head a million times, and telling her I loved her. I can still feel her warm soft head against my lips...
