Thanks David Sedaris

December is, for some reason, a difficult month for me. I've no explanation for this... the dark nights that come too soon and stay too long in the morning? I do drive to work in the dark and home again in the dark. ... the expectations I put on myself to make a nice Christmas for my family without sufficient time to do so? (work, eat, scoop, sleep. work, eat, scoop, sleep. add extra preparations: work, eat, scoop, extra stuff, not enough sleep = exhaustion.) ... the fact that if I do decorate I'm doing it by myself? ... the fact that as a Baha'i I really don't want to be doing any of this at all? ... the fact that I have such fond memories of Christmas as a child that are gone, so long gone?

I do actually love colored lights, decorating Christmas trees, baking Christmas cookies, and listening to Christmas carols. I think if I had more family around to do it all with me and took a week off of work to do everything in a relaxed manner I'd actually enjoy it. As a Baha'i I can rationalize doing Christmas not as a Christian activity but as a family tradition that benefits all of us (most of whom aren't Baha'i) as we gather in the warmth of the kitchen and the warmth of our companionship and love, sort of like a second Thanksgiving. So maybe next year I'll take some time off to do all these things in a joyful manner, even if I'm having to do them alone. Maybe when Saeed retires we can do them together.

It's too late to affect the above plan this year, but I have found a way to beat back the darkness: listening to (not reading) David Sedaris. I have a CD of his performance at Carnegie Hall that makes me laugh out loud, a lot. Anyone that knows me well knows that I can watch a funny TV show and not laugh. I may find it funny, but rarely funny enough to make me do anything more than smile. David Sedaris reading his own stories brings humor to another level for me. Yesterday as I was driving to and from work I listened to this CD, driving slowly so I could hear more before having to stop. And this morning as I was drinking my coffee and listening to NPR they replayed a bit from his "Santa Land Diaries" when he worked as a Christmas elf for Macy's department store in NY. Talk about a driveway moment! I sat on the floor in the kitchen, leaned against the refrigerator and laughed until the kitties had to come look at me to see what was the matter.

So thanks David. You bring me back from the dark side.